Tomorrow isn’t promised.
Even if someone can promise you that you will still be alive tomorrow, no one can promise you exactly what will happen to you tomorrow.
Tomorrow may be filled with joy, but in a matter of seconds, nightmares could come and find you. And in a matter of that split second, your emotional state changes from joyful to sorrow.
That is life.
Life is unpredictable.
That’s why everyone should cherish life “right now”.
When I was 21, it was my first full time job and I worked in this really nice “family” team as an industrial placement student. There was this fat guy called Sean. I didn’t work close with him, but I knew who he was.
A year later, I was back there for an interview to return as a graduate, it turned out Sean had passed away from cancer and my first reaction was “Are you joking? I saw him only a month ago when I drove down here to visit?” Sadly, a month before my interview, Sean didn’t even realise he had stage 4 cancer. A month later, he was gone. I remember asking for his age, he was 41. Not married, no kids. Always had a big smile on his face at work.
The week before I moved away from London in 2011, we went to say farewells to our friends and got a cab after midnight. As you may know by now, I respect rules, so I’ve always worn my seat belt.
As our cab climbed up this hill towards a cross junction, there was also a car speeding towards the same cross junction at the time. (The other driver later claimed that he was being chased by some of his “enemies”.)
Luckily my friend sitting at the front seat was talking to me at the time, so he had to turn his body round facing me and by doing so, he spotted the car speeding so fast and almost crash straight into the side of our cab, as the driver wouldn’t have seen the car as we were just climbing out of a hill. (Blind spot)
It was literally a matter of “seconds” that the other car didn’t crash straight into the side of the cab, where I was sitting behind the driver. The collision had only clipped our car’s corner and we swerved off the junction a little. The other car’s windscreen was smashed into pieces, Bonnet crumbled up, spun 360 a few times BUT the two passengers walked out alive and we were all fine. As it was midnight, normally we would fall asleep in the cab, if that had happened that night, 5 lives, 5 families would have had a very different story to tell today.
There are more things I could share, but the main point is that by looking back, I appreciate how many lucky escapes I’ve had in my life. (Touch wood!) I am grateful that whoever is guarding me, helped me…. However, perhaps there are NO such things as guardian angels in life, but it makes me appreciate the meaning of how life can be so fragile.
May be tomorrow a person you know may never wake up after he/she goes to sleep, or that a person you know may lose sight and turn blind for the rest of his/her life. Don’t take anything for granted, so that includes your family. You may not “feel” close to them, but you are connected by your DNA. Nothing can break that. How you feel is the negative mind speaking to us, and the negative mind is the most powerful when we are depressed. There are ways to change that “if” you want to 🙂 so that your negative mind isn’t in control of you.
Sometimes we can say and do kind things to encourage others, but we often neglect being kind to ourselves. This is what I’ve learned…love yourself first, but not to become a selfish person and hurt others while doing so.
Some people go from one extreme to another, love themselves TOO much and make rash decisions after a major break up, because they think they will heal faster, but the scars will not heal nicely and they will be reminded of the pain even more whenever they see their badly healed scars. But if people take time to care for their wounds at the beginning, it will lessen the “ugliness” of their scars later on. Makes sense right?
After all, no one knows when is your last day on earth, so what’s the hurry IF you can afford the time to heal properly? 🙂
I really like human psychology and check out “Maslow: Hierarchy of Needs”. I feel there are some truth in that theory.
When I got back in October, I want to skip some levels and reach to the top. Of course I never did, and in return I felt worse about not achieving it. Have a read about this theory, it’s very interesting and I hope it will give you some light as to why I am encouraging you to take time to heal properly first. Before moving onto finding your career, finding love and socializing.
I’ve also listened carefully about what you said about worrying dating the next girls, how it might not work out in the end, how you don’t want to waste other people’s time etc etc.
Unless you have a crystal ball that predicts all major news event 100% correctly? Then you should use that crystal ball to find out what will happen to you in the future. And, if you have it, lend it to me!!
Fortune tellers/life predictors? I would recommend you taking their analysis with a pinch of salt. Unless they have PROVE of your future (which they don’t!)
Most people sit down in front of fortune tellers have some troubles already, so for them it may be pretty easy to “see” what happened to you in your past, it’s always going to surround the category of work, life, family, love, death…. it’s a bit like the homework we had in Primary school, fill out the blanks.
It is just a bunch of words. Not facts. Their words can ruin your recovery process more than ruining your chances of meeting Mrs Perfect.
By the way, there are no such thing as “perfect” in life. It is a fantasy. What your perfection is to you could be someone else’s nightmare, vice versa. The grass is always greener on the other side. Your life has brought you to “this day”, all that you can do to influence it is only the “right now”. Yes, if you work hard today, it can influence your future, but it doesn’t guarantee your future will be exactly how you “want” it to be. Life is funny like that.
Make the most of life, because every second that passes us is a second that you will never get back. Happy or sad. Make happy memories and embrace the bad ones when they come and find us. Sometimes when the bad things arrive, it is only THEN, in that moment we have the CONTROL to do something about it. You can never prepare for them in advance. (Overthinking is actually just being anxious about things that 99.9% chance will not happen in the exact way you think!)
Perhaps you will never meet your “Mrs Perfect”, but if you are happy being surrounded by those you love? Then you are richer than Bill Gates. How many security guards does he have? How many women have all fallen for his money? How many “friends” he can count upon if he turns into a homeless person for the rest of his life?
But not finding “Mrs Perfect” doesn’t mean you won’t find someone who you want to build your life with. “Mrs Perfect” is a fantasy. In reality, in the the Oxford dictionary calls them “wives”, “girlfriends”, “partners” etc etc 😉
One thing I’ve learned in my experience is that buying “things” didn’t make me happy at the rock bottom of my life. Meeting genuine and trustworthy people brought me happiness inside. Actions. Generosity of lending a hand, an ear, words of encouragement. Patience. Those who stuck right by me, even until this day. I feel extremely blessed that I have them in my life.
(But like I’ve said before, your definition of perfect could be someone else’s nightmares. My definition of happiness could be someone else’s definition of junk!)
As long as I am healthy and worry free until the day I die, I think I’ve done the best job to live life to the fullest here on Earth 🙂
Whether I will be single for the rest of my life or I will find true love and have a family, whatever life brings me, I will accept that and make the most of my life. Because I would have never thought loving someone unconditionally would bring me here today. But it did. I accepted it.
You asked if I am ready to have a serious relationship again? My short answer was yes. My longer answer is that I realized I can never be ready, but if I purposely block opportunities that will only lead to loneliness for sure. Perhaps I might be one of those divorcees who takes a few marriages, or I may not! Even if you have that crystal ball, I don’t want to find out. I have survived and grown so much stronger after all of this, I can handle anything ahead of me for sure. I never knew just how strong I am, and I am so proud of it.
Happiness is found from within, not from others. Happiness is created by your own thoughts and appreciate that happiness is a gift and not to take anything and anyone for granted in your own lifetime. Materialistic things can perhaps bring you “joy” for a moment, but happiness is intangible and for every moment that you can wholeheartedly say that you are happy, then you are one step closer to reaching the ultimate goal in life. To be genuinely happy!
“Do what makes you happy.”
“Do what you love. Love what you do. Then you never have to work again in your life.”